Hearing Forgiveness

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the airport Wednesday at 4:30 AM. I instead wound up at the hospital being told I had a TIA which is like a mild stroke. I’m taking meds and am headed back for a full check up and follow up and I’m sure I’ll be fine. Hearing the word “stroke” on Wednesday was almost surreal. It’s one of those life changing moments all in a single word.

It hit me that somehow I had forgotten that after choosing life or death everything else really is pretty much optional. I wish that I could give you all what that realization feels like but instead I’ll ask that you please don’t wait to tell those you love that you love them, please don’t wait to do that random act of kindness and if you are waiting for that “perfect” moment that perfect moment is NOW!

A good friend gave me a book called Finding the Way. In there was a story that I read about a father who ran an advertisement in a local newspaper. The ad read, “Johnny, All is forgiven. Your father wishes to meet you at the center of town at 8:00 PM.” That night hundreds of young men appeared to meet one very puzzled father.

How many of our friends or us suffer daily and are waiting to hear the word “forgiven”. How many weeks or months are spent deciding whether to offer forgiveness? And if we do offer forgiveness do we ever forgive ourselves? And, all the while, God is knocking at our door patiently awaiting on us to finally hear the message - “All is forgiven”.

Apparently, I had to have a minor stroke before I was willing to hear this but I finally got it!

New Years Resolutions - 2005 & Asking Why?

These past several days it has been difficult for me to write. Through conversations, prayers and many tears, I have tried my best to absorb the impact of what happened in India, Sri Lanka and Thailand. I have found myself being angry with God. I have asked “Why?”. “Why God?”, “Why these people?” And in the midst of this incomprehensible tragedy comes the steady stream of suicide bombings in the middle east. These are my overload moments when the window through which I see God becomes less clear. Moments like these tend to come in times when I wonder how God could possibly allow such things to happen. I do not know how one brings themselves to the point of killing others in the name of God. I do not know how it feels to be a mother, father, or son that wonders why God has just taken their children, their parents, their village.

I do know that these are the same moments that bring me face to face with my faith and the the choice, to Trust Him. These are the same moments that remind me that I was not created to know “why?” and that life occurs in being alive and not waiting to understand “why”.

John Lennon, once wrote that “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans”. We can all get so consumed with asking “why” and consumed with the quest to find the answer that we miss that what we are searching for already “is”. The truth is that all that you and I ever hope to be is already inside us. I love the story behind the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy, just three clicks away from Kansas had to first figure out that she was really home all along and “somewhere over the rainbow” was her own backyard. Everything we need is found not in the destination but in the journey, in the life, that God has already given us.

Oh yes, and my “resolutions” for 2005 - Pray - Listen - Accept (His grace) - Serve